in the middle of such rush

torn expectations I am not really cynical but I think I am slowly starting to become one. I just realized that most people do not really deserve to be treated nicely. Most people do not deserve that straight-from-the-bottom-of-my-heart kind treatment. They just do not. Perhaps this is the reason why I often feel messed up, used or anything of that sort. I usually trust people - all people - easily. I've always believed in the good nature of humans. But not anymore. I think I've already had enough of that Ms. Nice type of person. I guess, I've always been so nice [too nice] to people regardless of my relationship with them. I've been so kind to them without even thinking if they deserve such kindness. I'm not saying though that I am Ms. Perfect, Ms. Down To Earth or Ms. Mother Theresa-like. It's just that I hope people would have this interpersonal wisdom in them. You know, knowing how to treat other human beings the right way [I mean based on the already affirmed rules of our society]. I just realized that really most people are just rude, selfish and greedy. They will just piss you off, spoil you and use you. a good push Like what I told my friend Bambina, I am recreating my life now. I am cleaning up the mess [favorite word?]. I am starting to refreshen the relationships that I've had left aging in the old treasure box of wonders. I'm starting to communicate again to my friends - of every kind [How helpful Frienster could really be in times like this]. The happy part is that some of them are actually responding to my messages. However, no matter how much effort I make, some of them just do not even bother to say hello or hi to me [Of course I know. I saw that they've logged on within 24 hours! =b]. Well, I can't possibly blame them since some of them haven't actually been that close to me. I'm just hoping that maybe, we could start again and this time maybe we could deepen our friendship. I have a feeling that it's really during times like this that you will be able to know who your real friends are. Anyway, as far as I'm concern I'm feeling good about what I have done. It's really never too late to learn and realize things. I just hope that my communication with them would go on . . . forever [cheesy? well, sige medyo] and ever and ever. mama ... is just the best!!! I so so sooooo love her!