love & hate

Last Monday, we had a workshop in our screenplay writing class about this essay that we have written. It's actually for the purpose of knowing how to describe our chracters accurately. But, mind you, it's not the typical describe-your-favorite-person kind of thing but instead, it's about describing your hatest person including [of course] the reasons why you hate him/her. It's really exciting you know. There are these classmates of mine who would go apologizing for writing such mean things about their hatest persons. They would go,"No I don't really hate him/her" or "I'm sorry for being mean, I just had fun writing this." Secretly, it really made me laugh hearing them go over being so apologetic for their being mean. No wonder why most of them were shocked after hearing what I have written [bwahaha]. It was actually a sort of dramedy wherein I mixed the elements of comedy and drama at the same time [for those of you who have no idea what dramedy is]. I'm not saying who my hatest person is, but I must admit that what I have written about him [oo, lalake siya] was really mean [to quote one of my classmates: "that's what you call mean"]. However, [hindi sa pagdidisclaim] I didn't intentionally make it that mean just for the sake of cursing the person, but instead I did the entire writing exercise for the sake of the exercise itself. Since it's about describing your hatest person accurately, then most probably the main purpose of it is to make your readers hate that person as well. The accuracy of description will be measured upon its ability to convince the readers that indeed this person is worth hating for. But interestingly, after doing the workshop - after hearing my classmates' works as well -I only didn't get the techniques in describing characters but I also figured out some things about the reason why we hate. Basically, our works reflect that the reason why we hate these people that we hate is because we loved/liked them - or we wanted/we tried to love/like them - in the first place. But because of the cruel things that they did to us, we had no choice but to hate them in the end. We don't really hate these people just because they're hate-able but because we are only so disappointed for loving them when they're in fact not even worthy of it. The same thing with the person I hate, I realized that I do not really hate him. How could I hate him when I am supposed to be loving him? [uuyyy medyo nagkakaroon na ng clue kung sino] I just realized that the reason why I hate [I'm not even sure if hate is the right term for it.] him is because I so wanted to love him in the first place. I wanted to like him. I really did and even up to now I still have this feeling of wanting to like him sana. But because of the things that he does, I cannot love him - I can't even like him for the simplest reasons. Seems like he's actually the one who gives me the reason not to like him at all [although most probably he's not aware of it]. It sucks, right? But that's [I think] basically the main point: We hate because we love. I know it sounds absurd but what do we know? love and hate are both complicated and abtract stuffs. I think. all we can do is to interpret it based on what we experience; based on what we know. Perhaps, by contemplating about love-and-hate-stuffs we could discover more things about ourselves including our values and points of view in life.